Episode 13: At Long Long Last

Hal Jordan approaches Wayne International Plaza to do something about this yellow lantern ring.

            Bruce waited at the top of Wayne International Plaza. He stood in his personal office, watching the balcony with a coffee mug in his hand. He had a batsuit on standby in the floor safe so that at any moment he could put it on and launch into action. He was going to interrogate this “friend” of Amanda Waller’s as to what this symbol was, but he couldn’t do that until Clark had assembled all of the people with said symbol into a safe space. Their meeting at Langley wasn’t over, and Clark was waiting outside for the second they started filing out. The plan was to take the seven men up into the Watchtower with their brand new teleporter. There’s no way that would be insecure, and it was a government building, so the occupants wouldn’t be taken somewhere suspicious.

            Bruce had no intention of waiting for his time to strike at Wayne International Plaza ,but as he was preparing in the Batcave, he received a message. A transmission from the Watchtower communications system. It was from Hal Jordan’s address, and it was asking Bruce for an urgent meeting at WIP as soon as possible. Bruce told him he had a few hours to spare and could meet right now, and that worked for Hal, so now Bruce Wayne stood at the top of the world looking out the balcony for his coworker Hal Jordan of the green lantern corps.

            He arrived twenty minutes after Bruce did, and just as Bruce anticipated he decided to enter by flying straight up to the top of the building and walking in the balcony. Bruce knew scolding Hal was a lost cause, but he had to try his best anyway.

“Why did you come in this way? Why didn’t you take the elevator?”

“I know, it’s so hard being the only member of the Justice League that can’t fly, it must make you so jealous.” Hal mocked, landing gently on the floor of the balcony.

“What am I supposed to tell the general public when they ask what that massive green light bulb was flying toward Wayne International Plaza?”

“Tell them it was Green Lantern! They love me.”

“Why would Bruce Wayne get a visit from Green Lantern?”

“I don’t know, that’s your job to figure out.”

            Bruce put his head in hands. Every single time Hal Jordan was involved in something Bruce got a headache like nothing else could give. Why did John have to get promoted? John Stewart was perfect. He was respectful, professional, powerful, a strong leader. John Stewart was everything a Justice League member should be. Why did he have to get promoted to a higher sector and make this idiot the new Green Lantern? Why? Bruce’s ire bubbled off of his head and into the air, forcing Hal to pick up on the annoyance he was causing.

“Look I’m not exactly thrilled by spending another evening with you, pointy, so let’s just cut to the chase. I have been alerted to a yellow lantern presence in this building. My ring says it’s near the top, but I don’t know where, so I’m going to have to search your office and maybe the three floors underneath it to find the ring.”

“It’s in my desk drawer.”

“Ha! He does have a sense of humor. Hang tight babe, this’ll only take a second.”

            Hal marched into the office and started pointing a beam of green light like a flashlight out of his ring. He scanned the bookshelves and floorboards diligently, searching for any signs of potent fear. Bruce stared at Hal and thought about how utterly pathetic he was. Hal’s ring was supposed to be the most deadly and advanced weapon in the universe. It scanned the exact spot on the floor Bruce’s secret compartment was twice and didn’t find anything. Furthermore it’s wielder was so thick headed he chose not to check the desk just because that’s where Bruce said it was. He didn’t know whether to take the ring out and get this over with, or let Hal blunder into it on his own to humiliate him. The thought was tempting, but Bruce recalled that his desk drawer was locked, and the thought of Hal forcing it open to find something he already knew was there infuriated Bruce too much, so he just decided to retrieve the ring.

            Bruce sauntered over to his desk at normal speed, causing pain in the injury in his chest. The annoyance was so strong that it numbed the pain slightly. He sorted through his key ring and found the one for the desk drawer. He forced it into the keyhole and unlocked his desk, opening and closing it as fast as possible to prevent Hal from seeing anything. The cardboard box the ring was sitting in dropped onto the desk with a hollow clap and Bruce immediately drew attention to it.

“Here.” He said, motioning to the box on his desk.

            Hal turned away from what he was scanning and looked over at what Bruce was doing. He narrowed his eyes at the box being gestured at. Bruce found the ring already? And the wearer didn’t summon it back? How long ago was this? Bruce had to be wrong, maybe he found a toy from Party City or a Happy Meal.

            He approached the desk and tore open the box, whereupon he was nearly blinded by the luminescent glow of the yellow ring stored inside.

“Oh, Jesus! Dude, how long have you had this?”

“Two weeks and change.”

“Two weeks?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

“I had it under control.”

“No you don’t! This thing is glowing like a college girls face under a blacklight, whoever you took this from is a POWERFUL yellow lantern and I need to get them arrested.”

“Whoever I took it from?”

“Yes, Bruce, I hate to say it, but it looks like someone in your office is a supervillain. Let me know who it is and I’ll go get them for you.”

“…”

“I know, I know, your employees are all a big family to you, and you can’t bear the idea of sending one of your precious little babies off to prison, but sometimes people aren’t who you think they are. You know people are capable of a lot more than you would think-“

“It’s my ring you idiot.”

            Hal chuckled at first, then stared at Bruce as Bruce didn’t react. He started putting the pieces together in his head. Parallax knows Bruce, he knows about the Justice League. He wouldn’t just send the Batman a yellow lantern ring. Even if he did, Sinestro wouldn’t train him. Something had to be wrong.

“You’re kidding.” He said, his brow furrowing.

“No.” Bruce replied, already sick of this charade.

“You’re kidding, you have to be.”

“Hal, I’m going to hit you.”

“You have to be kidding me. You can’t be telling me that you were chosen for a yellow lantern ring.”

“YES!”

            Hal looked down at the ring, then back at Bruce, then back at the ring. He picked up the weapon and held it in the air to measure it against Bruce’s hand. It would fit. It was his ring. Hal instantly exploded.

“What?!”

“Why does it take three tries before you finally believe me?”

“You’ve been a yellow lantern for two weeks and you didn’t tell me?!”

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because this is my one fucking job! Jesus Christ how many times have you used this thing, it’s almost on fire!”

“I used it many times on Qward to defeat Sinestro, and then I used it again to fly myself home. Since getting back, I haven’t put it on a single time.”

“You should have told me, you really should have told me. I could’ve done something about this.”

“What could you have done? Clark already tried breaking it, a new one came right back.”

“OH SO YOU’LL TELL CLARK ABOUT THIS BUT YOU WON’T TELL ME?!”

“Grow the fuck up Hal!”

“I AM GROWN UP, THIS IS SERIOUS!”

“I haven’t used it, I’m not going to use it, and you can’t get rid of it. What more is there to say?”

“I can get rid of it!”

“Ok, then do it! Why are you arguing with me, I don’t want this thing! If you can get rid of it just do it and stop talking about it for God’s sake!”

“Maybe I will!” Hal exclaimed, as he grabbed the ring and marched for the balcony door. “And the next time something like this happens, fucking call me!”

“No!”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck you!”

“No wonder you’re an orphan!”

“No wonder you can’t get a date!”

“That tie looks gay!”

“Says the guy in a leotard!”

“You better thank your lucky stars you’re a part timer or I’d get you fired from the team so fast!”

“I’m a part timer and I outrank you!”

“THERE’S NO RANK IN THE JUSTICE LEAGUE!”

“There’s always been, you’re just at the bottom!”

“FUCK YOU!”

            Hal hurled more insults as he flew away but at that point they were too distorted by wind and atmosphere for Bruce to understand. He stepped back into his office, feeling as though he won that encounter, though still fuming with rage at having to deal with Hal Jordan another time.

            He pondered over whether or not Hal could actually do something about the ring or if he should expect to get it back in a few days time. Bruce didn’t mind if he had to hold onto the ring forever, but he did mind if he was in the middle of a covert operation and suddenly a blinding yellow light hurtled towards his position from outer space. If he was going to interrogate this comrade of Amanda Waller’s, he’d better do it soon. He decided to make use of Clark’s super hearing and send him a message he wouldn’t be able to reply to.

“Hey Clark, I don’t know if you were listening to that argument just now, but Hal took my yellow lantern ring. If he can’t get it to stop working then it might come back to me, and I need to make sure I’m ready when it does. I’m going to find Waller’s friend now, and wait right outside their pov until you give me the ok, just to speed things up.”

            Bruce waited a few seconds, before feeling a buzz in his pocket and pulling out the Justice League emergency phone and reading a text message on it. It was Clark Kent and it simply read the letter “k.” Bruce took this as a sign of consent, and he started painfully making his way over to the batsuit.

            Right as he was about to put his phone away however, he received another text message, it too was from the man of steel. It said a single word, uncapitalized, and given no punctuation.

“language”

            Bruce stared down for two seconds before the gall struck him, and he said out loud “ah fuck you” to the man of steel.