Episode 10: Flashbang

Clark Kent's climactic date with Lois Lane, where he plans to finally pop the question, and tell her his deepest secret.

            Carbelli’s Trattoria was Lois Lane’s favorite restaurant, and it was at which’s table she sat right now. It was a bar on the ground floor, and a restaurant on the rooftop. She knew the owner back when he was alive, and he was a great guy. He was one of Lois’s greatest financial mentors and even briefly could have ended up as her father in law. It hurt her to see him pass, but it was satisfying to see that Carbelli’s was still just as good even in his absence. The five cheese ravioli was still just as sinfully delicious and filling as when he oversaw it. It was so good in fact she was prepared to call it her favorite dish of all time. What else could compare? She wasn’t sure, but another glass of wine would help her narrow it down for sure.

“You think we could get another bottle?” She sheepishly asked the man across from the table as her.

“My thoughts exactly.” Clark replied, wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin.

“Are you sure? I can pay for it if you want.”

“Oh please, it’s my treat! I have to have drank more than you anyway.”

“I didn’t want to say that, but you definitely have.”

            They both laughed the same belly-laugh they’d been doing for the past hour. They were so wrapped up in each other they didn’t even think about other people, which happened to be one of Lois biggest perplexing thoughts at the moment.

“What’s with you today?” She asked when the laughter died down. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m so for it, but you’re being so out there today. You’re all touchy and kissy, even in public, you’re drinking me under the table, driving fast with the windows down. What’s up?”

“Well, it’s a special day!”

“How so? Perry give you a raise?”

“Ha! No the sun hasn’t fallen from the sky yet.”

“Then what is it?”

            Clark took a deep breath and again cleaned his mouth before he began. He leaned back and collected his thoughts.

“Well, I just got to thinking about our relationship so far. I had lunch with Bruce again today and he was talking about something and it got me thinking about all of our history. I still remember the first sentence you said to me when we met.”

“You do? I don’t.”

“It was ‘talk to me once you survive two weeks.’”

“I remember now.”

“I knew from that moment you were the one for me.”

“I’m glad.”

“Nothing anyone had ever said had ever felt so romantic.”

“If you think that’s awesome wait until you see my restraining order.”

            The two of them laughed at the absurdity of it all, and then they dug deeper. They began sharing all their favorite memories from the last four years together. They recalled their vacation to Niagara Falls, and their various trips to the county fair. They recalled closing on Clark’s new apartment and spending so many nights talking on the edge of his balcony. They recalled their first Christmas together. How Clark spent December 20th-23rd crying over having to spend Christmas away from his family for once, and how she came to rescue and made his first Christmas Eve away a magical day he would never forget. She told him more about why she did it. She told him that she did want to see him that day, and she did want to spend Christmas with him. But it wasn’t all rooted in him. She was hurting for the same reason and she needed someone to spend Christmas with because she too missed her family. She had been to parties, been with friends, celebrated every way she knew how, none of it was the same. Without her family it was all so hollow and sad. She came to Clark because she knew he would know how to make it better.

“That’s why I love you, Lois.” He said, reaching into his back pocket. “There’s nobody else on earth who’s ever felt so undeniably familial. I’ve never felt so natural with anyone else. Nobody else has ever given me even the slightest thought that I could spend my whole life with them. You know me, I try to be friends with everybody, and I’m not lying to them. But something about you has always been on another level, and I just can’t get over it.”

            Lois began to reciprocate. She started talking about what he meant to her and how she never thought she would ever meet someone like Clark. He intended on listening, but nerves got to him and his brain trailed off to thinking about his last few sentences. He was trying so hard to say the right thing, to not mess it up and to set the mood up just right, that he actually talked himself out of it with one simple phrase. “Nobody else on earth.” On earth. Earth. Where she was from. Where he wasn’t from. He hadn’t told her yet. He hadn’t found the right time. How could he ask her to marry him if she didn’t even know who she was marrying? It was the most deceitful, wrong, and downright cruel thing he could ever do, and all he had to do was remind himself of where he was from to shut himself down.

            It happened so abruptly he was actually mad at himself. He was having so much fun and now his mood was ruined because of one stupid phrase. The realization of this snapped him so far out of the moment it was like a school boy suddenly remembering they have a final exam tomorrow. He let go of the box in his pocket and resigned himself to telling her later, before zoning back in to the conversation. Unfortunately not fast enough for Lois not to notice.

“Are you ok?” She asked.

“Um… yeah I think so.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I…I can’t. Not here.”

“Not here? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Are we still planning on going back to my place after dinner?”

“Yeah? I thought so?”

“I’ll tell you then. I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”

“Ok? You’re scaring me though.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’ll all make sense I promise.”

            They hung in an awkward silence. She finished the last drops of her wine, he took nervous bites of his chicken. The interruption built on Lois and she spoke up.

“Its just…I thought we were having a moment.”

“We were. I’m sorry. It isn’t you, it’s me.”

“Woah, what the fuck does that mean?”

“I’m sorry, that was bad wording-“

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“No, no! God no, Lois please, don’t-“

“Clark, what is going on?”

“I can’t tell you here, I really can’t. I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to ruin anything. I promise I’ll tell you everything back at my apartment.”

“Why can’t you tell me here?”

“You’ll know when you hear it. I know it makes no sense, but please, just handle it for the rest of dinner and I promise I will tell you when we get back.”

“Handle it? It seems like you’re the one who can’t handle it, dropping your mood, and being all quiet.”

“I can’t, I can’t handle keeping it a secret from you, I can’t handle the lies it’s made me tell, I can’t handle it at all. I’m breaking more and more every day and now I’m finally going to tell you everything. As soon as we get back, it’s all yours.”

            She hated this answer more than he could know. She thought they were above keeping secrets from each other. She tried so hard to create a relationship where they weren’t afraid of telling each other things, and whatever terrible thing the other had done they would fix it together. This felt like such a betrayal of everything they had worked so hard on. How long had he kept this? How many arguments about honesty had they had while in the mean time he’s keeping this exempt from all of it? She wanted to pin him to the wall with the journalistic skills she learned over all these years but she knew she wasn’t getting any more out of him here. So instead she decided to twist the screws.

“It better be, or we’re done.”

“I agree.”

            He agrees? What the fuck kind of response was that? What in the world is this? Her emotions swiveled on a dime and she suddenly started to feel bad for him. Something was that bad that he was ready to leave her over it? What in the world is this? Why has it been allowed to sit in the middle of their relationship for this long? She didn’t know, and she almost didn’t want to know. If it was so bad he was ready to leave over it, it must have been truly awful. Why would he tell her?

            Dinner continued quietly from then on. The waitstaff arrived with a refill of wine and instantly picked up on what happened. Even they couldn’t manage to keep up the happy façade anymore. They asked if everything was ok, both parties said it was fine. The waiter wasn’t sure what to say. They couldn’t tell if they should try and fix things or just get out of their way.

“Did we save any room for dessert?” They pathetically offered, trying anything to mend the evening.

“Not tonight.” Clark quietly replied.

“Will we be needing any boxes?”

“No, just the check please.”

            The waiter mournfully nodded and walked off to get the bill. They had made Clark’s reservation. They knew what today was supposed to be about. Seeing the drop in mood made the paranoid mind wander. Had she said no? What would cause that? How would you mend the evening after that? There had to be some way they could help, but they were forced to remain silent. Hopefully the poor guy would find someone else some day.

            The waiter brought the check and stood by as Clark got out his card. He knew the two would want out as fast as possible. He took the card and brought it to the register in the back. The waiter input the card and table information and punched in the appropriate numbers. They were so overwhelmed with pity for the couple that they couldn’t help but take their good pen and scrawl “I’m so sorry” across the merchant copy of the receipts. It was the least they felt they could do.

            The check was brought back and the woman was already standing with her bag on her shoulders. They set the check back down on the counter and bid the final ado.

“Here’s your card, I hope you all have a great rest of your night.”

“Thank you. You too.” Clark replied, scribbling down a twenty-five percent tip on the merchant copy. If he registered the message, he didn’t react to it, as he stood up, took his copy of the receipt and the original, and walked her out of the building. She still let him take her by the arm, so maybe something was salvageable there. Maybe. Hopefully. The waiter knew they shouldn’t judge, they’d never met this couple before, but something about him was just so wonderfully magnetic. They couldn’t imagine how anyone could say no to that. What had he done to deserve such a fate?

            Clark and Lois walked to the parking garage without a word. They rode the elevator up to the sixth floor and stepped into Clark’s Volkswagen Passat without ever even making eye contact. They felt such a torrential downpour of the same emotions that they both had no way to form any words, and also knew what the other was going to say.

            Clark knew that deep down she didn’t want to leave him, but she was going to if the truth didn’t come out. He knew about the way she was raised and how she was so terrified of being used that she couldn’t handle dishonesty. He knew that she had tried so hard to create a relationship where they could be open with each other, recalling every moment where she told him something she didn’t want to. He knew that she was prepared to leave no matter how much she didn’t want to because this was too much of a deal breaker, and she didn’t deserve to be shackled to a liar all her life. He knew she felt pity for him, and she felt rage for herself.

            Lois knew that Clark was eating himself alive. She knew that he valued honesty just as much as she did, and he hated lying with every fabric of his being. He was no good at it, and he found it pointless. He would always rather confront than deflect, which meant whatever this was it had to be so bad he would debase himself to keep it concealed. She knew he loved her beyond doubt. She knew he really did want to tell her. She knew that he was going to tell the truth once they got back. She knew that he wanted to apologize more, and she knew that he meant it. But such things were pointless now. She had to know what was hurting him so bad.

            The couple pulled into his apartment’s parking garage and stopped the car. They always dwindled for a moment after parking the car, not tonight. Lois opened the door before the car was even fully in park. Clark turned off the vehicle and stepped out as well, running to catch up with her at the garage door. He scanned his ID badge and allowed them both entry to the building. They nodded at the nighttime security guard and walked straight into the elevator, thankfully waiting at the bottom floor for them already. They rode it all the way up to the 11th floor where Clark’s apartment was, and stepped out in perfect synchronicity. They arrived at his door and Clark started fumbling with his keys. She stared at him the entire time. Her breath quickened and she began to think of the worst case scenario. What if she really did have to leave him because of this? Is this image of Clark Kent fumbling with his keys the last one she would have of them together? Should she kiss him? Should she say something? Some kind of goodbye in case this didn’t work? She knew that would never make sense, but she could almost not deny herself. The torrent of emotion began to push up into tears that welled up and over her eyelids.

            Clark finally got the keys he wanted and barked “there” as the emotion built up in him as well. The door swung open and the two stepped inside, with Clark shutting it again as fast as possible. Lois set her bag on the counter and kicked her shoes off. She knew she was going to be here a while.

            Clark took several deep breaths before kicking his shoes off too. He turned away from the door and noticed that she was crying. Not just a single tear as the feelings mounted up, but really crying. She was gasping, tears were actively falling, and she was broken. He couldn’t believe he had caused so much anguish in her. Why? Why did he have to be so stupid? Why couldn’t he keep a lid on it for one more dinner? He didn’t know what to say to help her, so he told her to get right down to business.

“Go to the balcony. I have to get out of this suit. I’ll meet you there, and tell you.”

            He stepped into his restroom and she walked away, marking the last time they would see each other before the news was broken.

            Clark undid his tie and hung it on the side of his bathroom closet reserved for clothes in the need of ironing. He took off his suit jacket and hung it there as well, along with his dinner belt and his dirty socks. He went to close the closet door before he caught sight of a faint trace of red in his closet. He stopped and examined it. It was his cape. His suit had fallen out of it’s normal hiding spot, something that had never happened before. It’s like the suit knew what he was trying to do, and was ready to help. He took it as a sign and dropped to his knees. He clasped his hands like he was crushing a ring. He slammed his eyes shut and resorted to his last resort, the one thing that has always been there for him when nothing else was.

“Please God…please help her understand. If it’s best for her to leave me after hearing this, then let her go. Keep her mind clear, don’t let her become stuck with me because of her feelings. I love her too much. Please God clear her mind clear, and let her see the truth. I’m not going to lie to her. Please make her see that. I need you. Keep Lois safe, and let her do what’s right. I know I will. Amen.”

            Clark grabbed the suit from his closet and put it on underneath his buttoned shirt. He wiped the tears from his eyes and stepped outside. His toughest foe of all was outside, and his nerves were just as rattled as they should be. But he didn’t let that stop him, as it never could. Superman had to be stronger than that.

            Lois had left the balcony door open for him. The curtains were levitating as the wind swept into the room. He felt the rush of life invite him out there as he saw the love of his life on his apartment balcony. She hadn’t heard him step out of the bathroom and she wasn’t aware of his presence. She was crying worse than he had ever seen her. The reality of it all settled in on him. He knew what had to be done. He swallowed his pride, and his fear, and began to speak.

“Lois Lane?” He asked, getting her attention.

            She turned around and saw him. He was standing in front of his bed, three feet from the balcony door, holding the box of a ring in his hand. Her breath began to calm and she stared at the box. She expected this tonight, but this couldn’t be what he was so afraid of. Could it? He approached her and continued.

“I was going to give this to you tonight.” He stepped onto the balcony and took her hand in his. “I was going to open it and ask you to marry me. I was going to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me because I love you Lois. I’ve never met anyone I love so much and I don’t think I ever will again. You’re funny, you’re sweet, your so much smarter than me, you make the world a better place, you stick to your ideals, you make everyone around you a better version of themselves, you’re a leader and you’re the most beautiful woman on this entire planet and it’s not close. You mean everything to me and I wouldn’t want to have anyone else by my side but you.”

            She stared into his tearstained eyes with her own, their hearts beating in perfect sync. She hung on his every word. He looked out into the city and swallowed. After a brief pause and a deep breath he continued.

“But I can’t.” He let go of her hand and placed it on the balcony. “I can’t do it because I have a secret, Lois. Not a small secret, a big one. A really big one. The biggest secret anyone will ever tell you. A secret that changes who I am and who I will always be, and I cannot in good conscience ask someone to marry me when they don’t even know who I really am. I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time, but I was never sure if I could trust you. I know now that I can. I know that you are more than a good enough person to take this information for what it is, and not tell another living soul.”

            He looked back at her, and convinced himself that it was time. He readied himself for the grand gesture, and took one last look at her.

“I’m going to tell you this secret now. If it makes you want to leave me, then I respect that, and I won’t force you to stay. I won’t ever hold it against you, I won’t think any less of you. I won’t chase after you, I’ll just let you go. I only ask that you never tell anyone else, but as it comes to you, you can do with this information whatever you choose. Just know, that I love you. And that has never been a lie.”

            He let adrenaline take over him, as he turned to face her completely. His pulse leapt like he was ready to go to war. His breath huffed and puffed as though it was the last he would ever take. It was time. He was going to reveal the truth to her.

            He reached up to his face with his free hand and removed his glasses. He looked at her with his true eyes for once and she instantaneously took a step back. Reflexively his posture shifted and he became the man of steel once again. His back straightened and he grew nearly two entire inches. The wind picked up and blew his hair into the same swirl he always liked, and he became the man he was meant to be.

            He grabbed the top of his shirt and ripped it open. As buttons sprayed in every direction he unveiled the S on the front of his suit. It beamed as the proud symbol of hope the world knew it for and he displayed it without shame.

            The Superman S was far from the last piece of the costume to be revealed, as he tore the rest of his clothing off with one powerful rip. It all came loose in one moment and he was revealed in his full Superman suit. The force of the rip sent his cape billowing out in glorious red passion, striking Lois’s eyes instantly. Superman stood before her in full brilliance, revealing to her his greatest secret.

            But that wasn’t enough. Clark’s heart was racing too fast, so to prove it to her without a doubt, he put one hand on the balcony railing and vaulted himself over it at top speed. He flipped over the edge and wind assailed him as the gravity began to take over. In an instant, his Kryptonian blood took action, and he prevailed over gravity and began to fly. Wind blew powerfully underneath him and sent his cape flapping in the night sky like a flag before a capitol. He showed Lois that he was beyond a shadow of a doubt, the son of Krypton.

            The two locked eyes as Superman floated there before her, eleven stories above the ground. He flew closer and opened the ring. He offered it to her with his final message.

“Lois Lane…will you marry me?”

            It all made sense to her then. All of it. How he got so many interviews with Superman, how he got to have lunch with Bruce Wayne every day, why he would seem to disappear out of nowhere, all of it. She was overwhelmed with a mental onslaught of the truth all at once, and she was struck dumb from the impact. She stared at the man she loved as the realization of what she would have to share him with hit her head. As it all mounted up in her she knew what her response was. She thought it was foolish, and that she should by all rights take a few days to think about it. But something deeper within just knew what was right, and she was going to follow it.

“Yes.” She said, reaching her arms out and embracing her true love.

            The two of them embraced, kissed and cried for the entire night long. They held each other and wept in their shared relief that Clark’s secret wasn’t as evil as she thought, and she took it so much better than he thought. She spent the night in his apartment and they spent the whole night kissing, whispering, crying, and embracing in their rekindled love. They had done it. They had conquered their greatest struggle. If they could overcome this great secret together than they could get over anything. And they would. Together.

            They loved each other so deeply that night that no distraction could pull them away. No sound outdoors, no chirp of a bird, no ripple of bedsheets could convince them to peel away from one another. Which meant they both never looked at their cell phones the entire night. Which means they both missed texts from Jimmy Olsen. They received the same text in a group chat called “Planeteers” which contained just them and Jimmy. It came in at around 1:30am and came bearing a single attachment, of a link to a news report.

“Did you guys see this?” It read. “The congressman in Metropolis two days ago was murdered.”